When it comes to parties, hosting, and drinking (or not drinking), what is considered polite, and what is not, can change greatly based on the situation of the invitation and even the phase of life you’re in. This often results in confusion and wandering aimlessly around the wine store asking, to bring or not to bring.
After a debate amongst our team of the do’s and don’t do’s, we’ve gathered together your rule of thumb guide to drinks: both as a host and a guest. Read below to ensure you are the hostess with the mostess and a guest who gets invited back over and over again.
WINE ETIQUETTE AS A DINNER PARTY GUEST
Should You Bring a Bottle of Wine to a Dinner Party?
In short, the answer is nearly always yes. Hosting a gathering is a lot of work and let's be honest, it isn't cheap either. It's polite to bring a bottle of of wine as a thank you to the host. The only exceptions to this rule is if you don't consume alcohol, in which case, you should still bring a gift for the host. Gourmet chocolates or a bouquet of flowers make for a lovely contribution.
How Much Should You Spend and What Type of Wine Should You Bring?
When it comes to what wine to bring, a simple rule reigns supreme: bring something your host will appreciate. If your hosts enjoy red, bring that. If they enjoy bubbles, a bottle of Prosecco is lovely. How much you should spend on a bottle of wine often depends on the hosts and the type of party. If it's a backyard BBQ, a bottle in the range of $15 - $20 is perfectly fine. Find a wine that pairs nicely with the theme, perhaps a Zinfandel. If your guests are hosting an elegant multi-course seafood menu, a bottle around $25 is great. Again, it's thoughtful to bring wine that typically pairs well with the dinner party theme. Knowing your host and the audience is really important here though. Buying a more expensive bottle of wine can either be appreciated or awkward.
Should You Bring One Bottle of Wine or Two?
This is a tricky question. If you've been invited for a dinner party, it's likely the host has already purchased wine for the party. The general rule is be a gracious guest and consider what you will likely consume. If you think you'll have a glass or two, one bottle is perfectly fine. But if you and your partner are going to have a fun night out and think you'll be closer to a bottle each (let the good times roll!), it's polite to bring one bottle for the host, and an additional bottle that may be more appropriate to open at the dinner party if your host so chooses. It's a thoughtful gesture that ensures there's always enough wine to keep the good times going.
Should You Expect Your Host to Serve Your Wine?
This is one of the trickier questions and can be frustrating for real wine lovers. It's always best practice to bring a bottle of wine as a gift, but as a guest you should never expect this bottle to be opened during the party. Your wine is considered a host gift and thank you for the invite.
That said, if you're a wine enthusiast and have a specific wine in mind that you'd like to drink, it's perfectly acceptable to ask your host if it fits with their menu or preferences. Keep in mind, they may say everything is taken care of, in which case, expect to drink what they've purchased.
If the host welcomes your invitation know, that $60 bottle of Bordeaux you brought may not be opened, and if it is, expect it will be shared with everyone. Keeping that in mind, if it's a dinner party of 8 and you'd like to drink a heavier pour of the wine, you should also consider bringing enough for the group. In that example, that means bringing two bottles.
WINE ETIQUETTE AS A DINNER PARTY HOST
How Much Wine to Expect to Serve
If you find yourself hosting, a good guideline is to ensure there's enough (and more) wine to go around. The last thing you want is to run out of wine at a good party, so buy a bit more than you expect and know some of your selection may be saved for a later date.
Next, consider the way your party will work. Generally, you should expect everyone has a welcome drink as they get settled. A general standard is to have at least two glasses per person for a typical dinner party lasting 2-3 hours. So, think about it as a glass of wine per guests every hour.
A bottle of wine has 5 5oz glasses in it, however modern wine glasses tend to be very large, so you may find your pours are extra heavy as a result. By traditional math, a dinner party for 10 means you should have 5 bottles on hand. For the dinner parties we've hosted, that number is really low.
Here is what we consider a safe standard for people who enjoy some adult bevies with their dinner. This of course can vary, depending on the type of party you are having and your generosity as a host.
General guidelines for how much wine to buy for a 2-3 hour dinner party:
4 people eating - 4 bottles
6 people eating - 5 bottles
10 people eating - 8 bottles
12 people eating - 10 bottles
15 people eating - 13 bottles
20 people eating - 18 bottles
25 people eating - 22 bottles
30 people eating - 25 bottles*
50 people eating - 40 bottles*
100 people eating - 70 bottles*
Again, the above numbers are higher than what will likely be opened, because - well, we love wine. But listen - wine doesn't expire and if you're hosting it's better to be safe than find yourself with nothing left to serve if conversation gets lively!
*Why does the ratio of bottles to guests go down based on a larger group? The larger the group, the more the diversity in drinking patterns. For larger groups, having a diversity of drinks is even more important, so make sure you offer beer, spirits and interesting non-alcoholic beverages to satisfy a variety of tastes.
As a Host, How Much Should You Spend Per Bottle?
While this is often the burning question, there are also so many variables. First, remember - wine is less about how much you spend, and more about the quality. Do some research before your party or ask your local wine store for suggestions. There are fabulous bottles for all price ranges. In general, here's what we suggest.
For a "small-ish" dinner party, we suggest to treat your guests to a couple nicer bottles to enjoy during the main course. There are fabulous bottles for the $25-$30 range.
For a larger dinner party the costs can get quite high. Ask your local wine store for suggestions on really great Table Wine. Table Wine is meant to be generally pleasing for a variety of palettes, often includes a variety of different grapes from different appellations and is more reasonably priced for a larger group.
Sparkling, White, Red or Rosé?! What Type of Wines Should You Buy?
While wine is generally the best for dinner parties, if you're hosting a BBQ or similar daytime soiree, swapping wine for beer is a good bet, but still have wine on hand for the non-beer drinkers.
For any dinner party, it's essential to consider your guests. Having a selection of drinks that correspond with the evening is important. Etiquette for what wine to purchase can also depend on the type of dinner party you're throwing. Are you throwing a fancier affair, or are you having everyone over for pizza? Are you serving a French menu or Thai? Each of these factors and variables will change the wines you select. Use the guidelines below for a good starting point.
For a more intimate dinner party
Welcome drink
It's nice to offer a cocktail or sparkling wine to start while everyone mingles.
Drinks during dinner
During dinner, have a selection of both white and red. Red tends to be favoured (especially in cooler months), so lean in heavier on the red for your main course unless you have a white wine favouring group. Consider the menu and try to pair the dishes with appropriate wines. Pairings are not as traditional as they used to be, but you don't want the wine to overpower the food and vice versa. Seafood tends goes well with whites and lighter reds. Red meat tends to need a heartier red to standup to bolder flavors. If your main course is a more spiced cuisine like Thai, Mexican or Indian off-dry, semi-sweet and crisper wines help balance out the aromatics of your meal. We didn't mention rosé. Rosé is a tough one. Depending on the your pick it's either a refreshing summer favorite, or perfect for a heartier menu. Know the rosé so you can know which way it leans and what palate it will be enjoyed by.
For a larger dinner event or party with food
Welcome drink
Larger parties can be everything from holiday parties or structured events, which means they are tend to have more chaos. Pre-made batch cocktails make hosting easier and make for a lovely welcome as your guests get oriented to the event.
Drinks during dinner
Again, during dinner have a selection of both white and red, expecting red to be the favoured choice. For larger dinner parties or events (think 20+ people) we suggest going the route of table wine as they're crowd pleasers for a variety of menus and flavors.
EMBRACING SOBER ETIQUETTE
While wine and cocktails may be the life of the party for many of us, it's crucial to remember that not everyone feels the same. For hosts, providing an array of non-alcoholic beverage options is key. Nowadays, there's a surge in non-alcoholic mixers and mocktail recipes, so you should never be serving your sober guests Diet Coke and lemonade. Things like social tonics or Phony Negronis make a great choice. So, mix it up and have fun with it, ensuring everyone feels included and appreciated, regardless of their drink of choice.
If you are a sober guest, or simply looking to embrace the spirit of sober etiquette, consider alternative gifts like a bouquet of fresh flowers, a box of fine chocolates, or even some exciting non-alcoholic mixers. No matter what your choice of drink is, it’s important to never show up empty-handed.
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